I have not really been one to ask other people for assistance. I have always felt that my problems are my own and that seeking help from others would only be viewed as being a weakness. I despise having to ask others for assistance when I would rather complete a difficult task on my own. For me, part of the resolution comes in being able to solve something on my own. This time, however, is different.
Since my father died last month, I have been at a complete and total loss. Really. No words can express how much he meant to me. His death isn’t something that I can fix. He is gone. There is no resolution to be had.
I won’t get into the awful incidents I have had to endure the past month with my stepmother. It has been very hard for me to deal with…especially knowing that my sons will never know who my father was or have memories of them to keep throughout their lives. Her behaviors have dictated that everything that was ever owned by my father has a price tag attached to it. Enough said.
Next week I will be doing something that I have not done in quite some time; I will be seeing a counselor. My grief over his death has been debilitating. I keep praying for strength to get through this…but it isn’t enough and I have finally realized it. At first I didn’t want to keep the appointment because it was out a month from the time I initially called to schedule it. Now that the time is here, I realize that the wounds are still deep and time is not healing me as fast as I would like it to.
Since my father died last month, I have been at a complete and total loss. Really. No words can express how much he meant to me. His death isn’t something that I can fix. He is gone. There is no resolution to be had.
I won’t get into the awful incidents I have had to endure the past month with my stepmother. It has been very hard for me to deal with…especially knowing that my sons will never know who my father was or have memories of them to keep throughout their lives. Her behaviors have dictated that everything that was ever owned by my father has a price tag attached to it. Enough said.
Next week I will be doing something that I have not done in quite some time; I will be seeing a counselor. My grief over his death has been debilitating. I keep praying for strength to get through this…but it isn’t enough and I have finally realized it. At first I didn’t want to keep the appointment because it was out a month from the time I initially called to schedule it. Now that the time is here, I realize that the wounds are still deep and time is not healing me as fast as I would like it to.
Below is one of my favorite photos of my father and I. A copy of it currently resides on my desk at work.
1 comment:
I hope the sessions go well and you are able to feel better soon. I seriously can not relate to what you're going through since I still have both parents, but know that you will be in my prayers!
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