Determinations, Decisions and Divorce

My husband received the determination from the Dept. of Employment and Economic Development on his unemployment claim and the statement given on their website was "ineligible indefiantely". What? Doesn't that sound a bit harsh? I thought it was. We do not know what this means, but it does not sound very good. We will have to wait to see what the actual paperwork states when it arrives in the mail.

For the last month I have been been harboring feelings of sadness over my husband's loss of employment. I have tried to keep my feelings at bay, but I am too transparent...evidently. People have been commenting around me that I am not my usual self (not quite sure what that means). I sometimes just want to scream, "I'm falling apart, okay? Just let me cry." I pray every night for more strength to get through this. I just feel like things have been in a downward spiral and I want to control it. The decision I have made is that I need to stop. I need to stop crying and letting all of the pressure of what has been going on control me in a negative manner. All that is happening is for a reason, and it is nothing that I have control over. It is all part of a greater plan, no matter what is happening, and I need to embrace it instead of trying to fight it. Decision made.

Someone very close to me told me today that she and her husband are getting a divorce. Since I myself am a divorced person, I know what it is like to have feelings of unworthiness and depression. She told me the "spark just died" and that it was like living with a roommate. The similarities to my experience were quite the same. The only difference between her experience and mine is that she has a child. I have no idea how hard that would be, nor did I try to tell her I knew what she was feeling because I didn't want it to come across as being patronizing. My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to my dear, M. I know she will need them.