Three of the Many Things I Have Learned Since Becoming A Mother

1) Coupons are the best.
I learned this right away after I gave birth to my son, Brody. I immediately signed up on-line for every possible baby orientated website I could find. The coupons were amazing; for everything from diapers to formula to toys.

I love coupons to the point in which I will go to three or four different stores if an item is on sale at that store and I can use a coupon. I get a huge rush from it as if it were a drug. What makes it even better is that Cub, Rainbow and Target list the percentage of total savings at the end of their store receipts. When I see, “Today your total savings was 33%”, I flip!

2) You are not just a mother to your child; you are a mother to all children.
On Saturday, my stepsister Laurel and I were at the corner of Robert St., and Thompson Ave. in West St. Paul. I saw a woman, who I thought was the mother of two children seated beside her on the bus stop bench, repeatedly hit one of the children in the arm with her fist. I was totally flabbergasted. I rolled-down my window and told her that her behavior was totally inappropriate. I screamed, “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size!” To which she replied, “Mind your own business you beeotch.” I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t about to let this woman continue to abuse these poor, innocent children in front of me. I immediately called 911 and told them what was happening. I drove up to Butler Ave., and turned around back down Robert St., to make sure I could see what she was still doing to the children. I felt much more at ease when I saw the West St. Paul police car speed down Robert and pull into a parking lot right next to the sidewalk in which she was walking with the children. The police officer called me shortly thereafter and told me the woman was their grandmother and that he was talking to the kids about what had happened. I gave him my contact information for the report. I truly hope it worked out in the children’s favor.

3) Make time for your husband or significant other.
I have found that I treasure the alone time that I have with my husband more now that I ever did before. Even though we spend more of our alone time talking about both of our boys, it is fun to spend the quiet time together. I have found that I love my husband more with each day that passes. I have much more respect for him as a man and father to my 2.5 and 3.5 year old boys than ever. I was truly impressed with Mike’s ability to take care of the boys for 9 days on his own. I am not quite sure I could have done it…but he did. I know it was trying for him as I have noted before in my previous post, but he did it, and that was what was most important. He deserves my time, just as much as my younger boys do. :)

Coming Home

Last night my husband and babies came home. Yes, I realize that Brody and Byron are far from being in the infant stage, but to me they will always be my babies. I cannot tell you how elated I was when they walked into the door. Brody was more nonchalant than Byron. Brody said hi to me and then proceeded to start playing with his toys. Byron, on the other hand, screamed and ran to me with open arms. He didn't want me to put him down. When Brody saw Byron's reaction to me, he then ran at me with full-force; almost knocking me over. I then saw Mike come in the door, and I lost it. I starting crying...worse than when I had first come home last Monday to an empty house. I had my family again and I felt complete.

The whole experience of being by myself for a week was really surreal. I realized how much I have changed as a person since marrying Mike, and having Brody and Byron. When I was married to my first husband, I was alone...constantly. I think that one of the main reasons behind the failure of my first marriage was that I was alone too much. I tried to find solace in places and things that were not good for my overall well-being. I know that I am truly blessed now, and that is all that matters. My family is home.

The Power of Prayer

When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time at my Grandma and Grandpa H's house. It was great during the summer time, especially towards the end of August because they lived right across the street from the Minnesota State Fair grounds. I cannot tell you how many times throughout the years my cousins and I would make the cross over Como to the grounds. We had many, many fun times and I cherish the memories I have from those days.

I spent many nights at my grandparents' house and one of the things that my Grandma taught us over those summer nights was prayer. She taught my cousins and I "The Lord's Prayer" and the "23rd Psalm". By the time I was six, I could recite each from memory. On Saturday nights my cousin Judy and I would have our baths, watch "The Love Boat" and "Fantasy Island", and then recite our prayers. When we would say "Now I Lay Me", at the end we would be sure to include every one of our family members, teachers, friends and anyone else we could think of--even our pets! :)

About three weeks ago, Mike, Brody, Byron and I stopped by the cemetery where both of my grandparents are buried. It was the first time I had been there since having both of my children. Mike and the boys stayed in the car as I made the walk across the grass to where both of their headstones were. I kneeled down and recited both prayers. Before I knew it, I felt my cheeks damp with tears. In looking back at the car I realized that goodness and mercy were going to be following me throughout the days of my life.

The power of prayer had a different meaning than when I was younger; it was more powerful than I ever thought it would be.

This and That

I took the photo that is now under "Rx for My Soul". I think it is beautiful.


I talked to Mike yesterday afternoon and it was bitersweet for me. I was so happy to talk to him, and he deflated my sails. He immediately started in about how overwhelmed he was with having to take care of our children non-stop while being up there and how he just couldn't handle it. I told him that if I could have had the shoe on the other foot that I would have loved to have been up there and have him at home. The whole conversation was very negative. I couldn't understand why he was taking this one opportunity to talk to me and use it to go off on how awful everything was. At the end of our conversation he told me he was sorry that he made it sound worse than what it was...he was just overwhelmed on how much work it took to raise our children. I smiled at that, but it still made me upset.

Yesterday I decided that I needed to put together some things for Mike's brother and sister to bring with them to the cabins for the kids. Since my family will not be home until next Wednesday, I thought it would be a good thing. I took a photo of myself making a "kissing" face with our digital camera and placed a note inside the case of the camera. In the note I said that I thought the way he addressed what was going on up at the cabins during our phone call was wrong. I also told him that if I could be at the cabins with him I would be. I am sure it is not as bad as he is making it sound. Actually, I am positive.

Emptiness

I have never felt so empty in my life. I have not seen, or talked to my husband or children since Monday morning at 8:31 a.m. when I left Buyck, Minnesota. I don't think I would feel as bad if I could at least talk to them, but that is not an option. Buyck is almost on the Canadian border and there are no cell phone towers, or signals at all. I miss them...more than I ever thought I would.

The moment I walked into my house on Monday morning, I immediately felt empty. I thought that being alone would be a good time to get the house cleaned, carpets shampooed, etc. So far, I have watched four movies, read one and a half books, three loads of laundry, washed a sink of dishes, cleaned the kiddie pool and cleaned the kitchen floor. What took me two days to complete without my family would normally take two weeks if they were home. Am I bitter about that? Absolutely not. I would rather have them here with me than complete domestic chores.

The one saving grace I have right now is work. I never thought I would admit that, but it is at least keeping me busy. I hope they are having a wonderful time. My emptiness will pass soon, but it is getting through it that is most trying for me.

King of the Lode

Can you see the two small boys in this photo? :) I just love how much fun they had at "Mineland" in Virginia, Minnesota.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

The crickets were softly chirping as I was dreaming of my husband having his own body shop. I was dreaming about a 1964 Chevy Impala convertible driving through the doors of his shop when I suddenly had a large weight on my arm. I wasn't sure if I was still dreaming or not, but I realized I was no longer dreaming when I felt a small head in the nook of my arm:
Me: Brody, what are you doing?
(No response)
Me: Brody, it is 12:15 in the morning (which meant nothing to him). Did you have a bad dream? Come on, it is time to go back to your bed.
Brody: No, Mommy. I am thirsty.
Me: (nugding Mike out of sleep) Mike, Brody is awake and thirsty.
Mike: Hmmm....
Me: Mike, I need your help in getting Brody to go back to bed.
Mike: No response.
Brody: (louder) I am thirsty!
Me: Mike? (louder) MIKE!
Mike: What? (irritated)
Me: I am exhausted, can you please help me in getting Brody back to bed?
Mike: Yeah....(off to sleep again)
Me: Brody, go back to your bed and wait for Mommy to come back upstairs. Please be quiet and try not to wake up Byron.
Brody: Okay.
(I walk downstairs and find a sippy cup and fill it with milk. I walk back up the stairs and walk into Brody and Byron's bedroom).
Me: Brody...here is your milk.
(No response...Brody has fallen back to sleep).