Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Paranoid

I am at the part of my pregnancy when I am paranoid about everything. I hate this period of time. When I was pregnant with Brody I was convinced that my husband was cheating on me and having sex with someone else while I was at work. I even told my husband at the time that I thought he was doing this. After I told him, I think he asked me if I needed psychological help.

Although I do not feel the way I did about the fabricated "cheating" last time, I still question what my husband is doing with his time. Since he is not working, I feel a bit unsettled. I especially feel so after I come home from work and notice that nothing has been completed throughout the course of the day. I then wonder if taking care of Brody takes that much energy, or if he is doing something else that isn't constructive.

I don't know. I am becoming more and more paranoid as each day passes. I am afraid for the health of my child. I worry when I do not feel movement from him as each hour passes. I go back to the doctor a week from today and I wonder if it is soon enough. I feel like I really have no control over myself anymore. My feelings of paranoia are starting to wear on me. I really need this pregnancy to be over with; once and for all.

1 comment:

Trudy said...

Sorry sweetie...I hope the paranoia doesn't self destroy! Just try to keep things in check, and as for going into the doctor before your appointment, if they haven't told you there was anything to be concerned about up until now, they'll probably just tell you the same thing if you go in early!

You're SO close...soon you'll wonder what all the fuss was about, ya freak!