A Full-Night's Sleep

I am in pursuit of a full-night's sleep. If there is anything that I could have right now, that would be it. This whole week I have not had the chance to sleep through the whole night. Here is a run-down of this week's events that have kept me from sleeping:

1) Sunday - Brody didn't want to go to bed because, "It is still light out." Bedtime for Brody: 10:30 p.m.--with coughing from allergies starting at 1:00 a.m.
2) Monday - Brody wet the bed and tried to change his Huggies Pull-Up on his own and couldn't find one and began yelling for me at 1:30 a.m. After I changed all of the bedding he went back to bed, but I couldn't.
3) Tuesday - I tried to go to bed at 8:00 p.m., but Byron wanted to snuggle with me. Who am I to turn that down? The snuggling, however, turned into Byron repeatedly touching my eyelids to wake me up. Bedtime for Byron: 11:00 p.m.
4) Thursday - American Idol finale and I finally went to bed at 10:00 p.m. Byron started coughing at 12:18 a.m. and kept coughing every hour on the hour until 4:18 a.m. when I went downstairs and slept on the couch.

Granted, I shouldn't have stayed up to watch Idol last night, but I wanted to be sure I saw Adam lose to Kris. :) Perhaps this Saturday night when my children are at my in-laws' house overnight I will finally get my full-night's sleep. :)

Brody and Byron

I just came across this photo again. It was one of 27 that I took for our Christmas photo...and I am not over exaggerating... :) I love my boys!

American Idol: Winner or Loser?

Okay, I have to admit that I was completely and totally SHOCKED when Ryan Seacrest said Kris was in the top two. As soon as I heard that, I knew that Adam was going to be in the top two...acutally, I didn't even wait to hear it from Mr. Seacrest. I turned the TV off. I was very disappointed that he had lost, but did he? I remember when Chris Daughtry was voted off and everyone was in utter shock. Look what happened to him! He wound up becoming a multi-platinum selling artist. Another Idol "loser" was Jennifer Hudson; she was voted off quite some time before the final five that season and she became an Academy Award-winning actress. Some people who have won American Idol have kind of fallen off the radar...Ruben Studdard, Fantasia Barrino and Taylor Hicks.

On a side note, as my husband and I were watching Idol last night we were subjected to the awful lyrics of Jordin Sparks' new song, "Battlefield". My husband...without pause...came up with his own lyrics...
I am a bodyman
I am a bodyman
I use my Bondo
I use my Bondo
You need your car fixed, I got it covered
I use my Bondo
Along with his singing, he also had a little interpretive dance that went along with it. Who knows...if they ever open up the age range on Idol....:)

Surreal or Cereal?

My husband is still waiting to find out if he is able to receive unemployment benefits or not. I look on the Minnesota Dept. of Unemployment every day (at least three times or more). There is not an estimated date as to when his case will be complete, even though they NOW have both sets of documentation on the matter. I know that patience is a virtue, but in this case, I have none.

I keep rereading my blog from a few years ago when this happened last...I am trying to get myself back into the mindset of how awful the experience was then in comparsion to now, but I cannot. I feel selfish and want some type of answer. I know this is not what I should be feeling, but I cannot help it. I am praying for strength to keep myself from freaking out over the purchase of Nutrigrain bars versus the Roundy's brand of cereal bar. Isn't this petty and insane? I know it is, but I guess I will just have to be silent in my issues of $.25 cents verus $.79 cents.

Monday, Monday

I have never liked Mondays. I never wake up in the morning on a Monday and say, "Yes! It is Monday and I get to go to work!" No. You will never hear that from me. I am the least motivated for the week on Monday. I never seem to get enough sleep on Sunday before having to get up for work. I think I am getting my point across. Tuesday, I am really looking forward to your presence. This Monday has been long enough already! :)

Eight Years

This weekend it will be eight years that have passed since I graduated from college at St. Cloud State. So much has happened in eight years:
1) I have had two marriages
2) I have had four pregnancies
3) I have had two children
4) I have had five jobs
5) I have owned seven vehicles
6) I have moved five times
7) I have had four cell phones
Most importantly....
8) I have had zero regrets

An All Time High

Last night as I was waiting for "American Idol" to come on and see Adam go home (yeah, right...only in my dreams), my husband was cruising through our basic cable channels looking for something to watch. He came across a James Bond film that I have never seen before: Octopussy. Octopussy? What the??? I have never heard of this film for some reason. I asked Mike if it was a joke, and he said no. I guess it was made in the early 80s. Immediately the perverted part of me asked, "What? Does the main female character in this film have eight v-jay-jays?" I mean, seriously...

This was not the highlight of my last 24 hours, however. Today when Brody came off the school bus from preschool, I looked into his Cars backpack and saw that he had made me a present. The present was inside an envelope made out of yellow construction paper. I first pulled out a card that had a foam yellow and green flower on the front of it that he had made. I opened the card and inside it read:
Thank you, Mom for making me grow. - Love, Brody
I lost it. Right then and there with the Cars backpack in hand I started outright bawling...uncontrollably at that. Brody looked at me and said, "Don't cry Momma. It's going to be okay." That made me cry more and I explained to him that I wasn't crying because I was sad, I was crying because I was so happy over his gift. He looked confused as any three-year-old boy would look and waited for me to stop. I will not discuss what the actual gift was inside because I might start crying again. Let's just say that it had to do with small hand prints and a deeply moving poem. Yes, we are definitely on an all-time high (I can say I pulled this post title from the obnoxious song from the Octopussy soundtrack...thanks Rita Coolidge).

Job Lost; Job Found

Last Friday I received a phone call that I have received several times; it was my husband calling to tell me that he had lost his job. Although I must admit that hearing this news made my head immediately pound with blood and I felt my breath quicken, I wasn't upset. I wasn't upset because I realized that it just isn't in the cards for my husband to be employed at this point in our lives. How can I be mad over that? I cannot.

All things happen in life for a reason. I know many people I have met over the years have taken offense to my belief in this, but it is one of my core beliefs and I am unwilling to negate on it. Is it awful that I need to tighten down even further on an already non-existent budget? Yes, but things could always be far worse than what they are. I am not looking for worse, but I know it exists.

My husband may have lost his job OUTSIDE the home, but he has found an even better position inside our home. :)

The Write Stuff

I went to the Bloomington Arts Center over the weekend for the center's 6th annual book fair. It included a lot of hopeful writers who were looking to publish or write the next best-seller. Some of these folks were so desperate that they clung to each word that came out of a supposed marketing guru's mouth. I was asked to attend the guru's seminar on promotion and e-marketing, but it was lackluster at best. She didn't have anything to share that I didn't already know. I am glad that the "desperados" at least received something out of it.

It would be comical if there would be a contest for writers that would mimic "American Idol" and it could be called "American Writer". People would come for tryouts and bring their tattered copies of manuscripts for judges to read. I am not quite sure who the panel of judges would be, but it would have to have a variety like Stephen King, Danielle Steel and J.D. Salinger (perhaps it would be enough to draw him out of a reclusive life).

Finding My Strengths

I have been so incredibly busy lately with my new job, so I really haven't had the chance to blog. One of the things I completed at work the last week was the "StrenghtsFinder" test. It is part of a book that is written by Tom Rath (which is also a #1 New York Times Bestseller). The book explains what each "strength" is and how one can identify with a different person who doesn't necessarily have the same "strength". The following were identified as my "Top Five Strengths":

• Achiever - "You feel as if each day starts at zero...you must have something tangible completed by the end of the day."
• Input - "You collect things...yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting."
• Learner - "The process, more than the content or the result, is what is most fascinating to you."
• Belief - "Your work must be meaningful; it must matter to you."
• Woo - "You enjoy the challenge of meeting new people and getting them to like you."
  

This really pegged me well!

Sticking your nose in it

My husband's employer asked him yesterday to check a box that was on his original application form (from three months ago) that asked if he had ever been convicted of a crime. I do not believe it was intentional for him to have ignored the box, even though he has. Over 18 years ago my husband did something stupid with a group of "friends" that gave him a raw deal. My husband explained this to his employer and then asked if he would be fired over it. His supervisor said, "I do not know."

Okay, what is the point here? Why in the world would it make a difference after you have been working for an organization over three months? It sounds pretty shifty to me. We have already decided that if my husband is fired, we will be contacting an attorney. As my husband said, would you punish a 12 year-old dog for something the dog did when it was a puppy? It is a pretty good analogy and I don't understand why now, after three months, would his nose need to be pushed in it?

The Birthday Song

This was forwarded to me in an email. I thought it was rather interesting to see what song has been popular on all of my "birthdays". I really despise the song that was most popular the year I was born.

DECEMBER 4
The #1 song in the U.S.A. on this date in history, according to Billboard magazine.- Click on a song to hear a portion of it in iTunes; you must have that software installed to listen.- If the song is not available in iTunes, the link will go to Amazon or somewhere else.- You can purchase more detailed historical data from Billboard research services or from Record Research.- Return to the main page.
THE 2000s
2007 ... "No One" by Alicia Keys
2006 ... "I Wanna Love You" by Akon featuring Snoop Dogg
2005 ... "Run It!" by Chris Brown
2004 ... "My Boo" by Usher and Alicia Keys
2003 ... "Stand Up" by Ludacris featuring Shawnna
2002 ... "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
2001 ... "Family Affair" by Mary J. Blige
2000 ... "Independent Women Part I" by Destiny's Child

THE 1990s
1999 ... "Smooth" by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
1998 ... "I'm Your Angel" by R. Kelly & Celine Dion
1997 ... "Something About the Way You Look Tonight/ Candle in the Wind 1997" by Elton John
1996 ... "Un-Break My Heart" by Toni Braxton
1995 ... "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men
1994 ... "On Bended Knee" by Boyz II Men
1993 ... "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meat Loaf
1992 ... "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
1991 ... "Black or White" by Michael Jackson
1990 ... "Because I Love You (The Postman Song)" by Stevie B

THE 1980s
1989 ... "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel
1988 ... "Look Away" by Chicago
1987 ... "Heaven Is a Place on Earth" by Belinda Carlisle
1986 ... "The Next Time I Fall" by Peter Cetera & Amy Grant
1985 ... "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister
1984 ... "Out of Touch" by Daryl Hall & John Oates
1983 ... "Say, Say, Say" by Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson
1982 ... "Truly" by Lionel Richie
1981 ... "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John
1980 ... "Lady" by Kenny Rogers

THE 1970s
1979 ... "Babe" by Styx
1978 ... "Le Freak" by Chic
1977 ... "You Light Up My Life" by Debby Boone
1976 ... "Tonight's the Night (Gonna Be Alright)" by Rod Stewart
1975 ... "Fly, Robin, Fly" by Silver Convention
1974 ... "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas
1973 ... "Top of the World" by The Carpenters

Blasphemy!

I am sorry Lord, but this did make me laugh. Thanks, Noelle!

Getting to know your neighbors

When Mike had lost his job back in March, I thought I was going to lose my mind. My husband, although I love him beyond belief, has a difficult time staying gainfully employed for an elongated period of time. Because he lost his job, we needed to find another place to live. My in-laws were wonderful in helping us with this task and they provided us with a home to live in (only five miles from where we were living) and buy from them on a contract-for-deed basis. It is not my dream home by any means, but it is a home and it is filled with family history (the home once belonged to my husband's grandmother).

Since moving, I have been trying to become more acclimated with the area in which I live. Most of the streets have numbers for names, which is very confusing to me. To make matters worse, I live in an area in which there are two roads named "Fourth" and one is an avenue and one is a street. I think you get the point of what I am explaining here! :)

Yesterday morning I had to bring Brody to the doctor for his never-ending bout of eczema. As I approached the turn lane for 494, I saw a Ford Focus dart right in front of my car. The streets of 5th and 7th are intersecting and also a gateway to many people running into cars trying to make it to 494. I got on to the freeway and managed to get behind the Focus again. It only took a minute before I realized who the driver of the Focus was. It wasn't difficult to figure out when I saw a frame that looked uncomfortably stuffed into the front seat of the vehicle. Yes, it is true--not only did my ex-husband almost side swipe my vehicle, but he lives in the city I do.

Little Men

I cannot believe how much Brody and Byron have grown! They are no longer babies; now they are little men...

Work It Out

Since I started my new event planning position a month ago (actually it will be tomorrow), I have been extremely busy. Not only do I plan events, but I also have a "say" over our agency promotional materials and I have also been updating our website consistently as well. I am overworked, but I do love it. I just wish that there was more time in the day to do it all.

This evening I was supposed to attend a wake service for my first fiance's grandfather who passed away on Saturday, but I am too exhausted to do so. I feel really awful about it, but there isn't anything I can do. I know my limits and believe me, these days I am truly exasperated.

The Gas Over Gasoline

Yesterday morning Mike was outside of our home cutting the grass and raking the yard with Brody. I decided to go outside and sweep the sidewalk of the grass clippings when I noticed that Brody was playing with something that looked like a hose. I walked over to where Brody was and I saw that someone had hidden a gas can inside of a burlap sack and a syphon hose was hanging out of the hole for the gas tank of Mike's parents' Suburban, which had been parked adjacent to our garage. Brody had put the hose in his mouth and his clothing and sandals were covered in gasoline. I immediately picked him up and brought him into the house for a bath. Mike discovered that all 40 gallons of gasoline that had been in the Suburban (it had a full tank) had been syphoned out.

Mike called the police and they came over to take a report from him. It was the first call they had received of someone syphoning gas from a vehicle. We also found out while the police were there that our neighbors were also missing half of their gasoline out of their Ford F-150 truck tank (30 gallons).

We decided to buy a key-locking gas cap. With the price of gasoline these days, I am sure we are not the only ones.

The Ex Factor - The Final Chapter

Well... All I can say is that what I saw today has only reaffirmed why I divorced Wayne in the first place.

I entered the side door of the conference room and felt my heart beating out of my chest. I kept envisioning the two scenarios that I had dreamt about. I kept back and peered around the corner and saw that he was sitting at a table. I did not see his face to know it was him, I saw his girth. Wayne has gained AT LEAST 50 pounds since I last saw him (I am being conservative with my estimate). After looking at him for five seconds, I knew I had seen enough. He looked disheveled and unkept. It was evident that he wasn't taking care of himself, nor was anyone else.

My life is better now than it ever was while I was married to Wayne. I have a wonderful and amazing husband, as well as two adorable children. God has truly blessed me with giving me a second chance at marriage and at having a REAL life for myself.

The Ex-Factor - Part II

Tomorrow I know for certain that my ex-husband will be at my place of employment for a training seminar. I found this out two days ago. I am very apprehensive about it and have had nightmares involving him the past two nights. Our marriage did not end on a good terms; it was truly awful. I feel that because it ended badly, I keep having these awful thoughts run through my head.

My nightmares have involved being in the training room and having two different scenarios occur:

1) Wayne comes in, sees me and immediately starts screaming at me about how I have ruined his life and that I shouldn't have selected a job that would involve seeing him. I become extremely embarassed and leave the training session.

2) Wayne comes in, sees me and tells me that he has been hoping that he would see me again and that he feels bad for being so awful to be in his last communication to me. He also tells me still loves me, which causes me to vomit on the floor and I run out in embarassment.

I guess that no matter what happens tomorrow, as long as I don't run out in embarassment, all should be well. At least this is what I am hoping for.

The Ex-Factor

An important part of my new job involves coordinating events for single-family lender partners and their staff. One of our lender partners is Bremer Bank. My ex-husband used to work (and still does from what I am told) for Bremer Bank. Right now, as I write this, my ex-husband can be potentially in the same office building as I am and he can be watching the PowerPoint presentation that I created for our new program. Scary.

It has been over three years since I last saw my ex-husband. The last time I saw him I was seven months pregnant with Brody. I never figured out if he saw me trying to hide myself behind a cooler filled with english muffins and pudding, but I did see him. He had looked the same as he always had, which isn't a compliment.

I cannot stand my ex-husband, which is exactly why I am no longer married to him. The thought that I will potentially be confronting him sometime in the no-so-exact near future is thought enough in itself to make me sick to my stomach. Does that make sense? I will wait to hear from co-workers if he is in the training session. If he is in the training session, perhaps I will have to make a trip down---or not.